Does My Child Need A Therapist?

Do you ever wonder if your child needs to talk to a therapist? Some parents want their child to have an existing relationship with a therapist so that if something difficult comes up they're already comfortable with talking with someone. Others want to seek someone out for a specific issue that they hope to get resolved. How do you determine when to seek out additional support? These three questions can help you decide. 

•  Think about your primary concern. Is it an isolated incident, or is it a pattern you've seen repeatedly? Sometimes our own parental anxiety interferes with our ability to assess the situation. When we see something concerning it is difficult to see how big the concern is when we're in the middle of it. If the issue (example: social anxiety) is one you've witnessed once, it's far less likely to need intervention than if you've been noticing it for three months. 
• Do you notice concern across different environments and contexts? If my child is only nervous when attempting a new activity, that is very different than a child who is anxious at school, at home, in comfortable situations, with friends, and trying new things. This doesn't mean that the anxiety your child experiences in new situations isn't valid or concerning, just that it may not indicate needing a professional's help at this time. 
• Does your child indicate an interest in talking with someone? When a child is adamant that they won't speak to a therapist, I encourage parents not to force them to attend past the first session if they aren't a danger to themselves or others. Having permission to walk away can make kids and teens more likely to engage and less likely to feel the need for a power struggle. Forcing a child to attend therapy when they're refusing to talk is a waste of parental time and money, and can turn them off to therapy in the future. If a child does indicate a desire to talk with someone, that's a great sign that the timing is likely right and you've got an opportunity to support your child in obtaining a healthy resource and an open line of communication.