How Do I Find A Therapist for My Child?

If you've made the decision that your child could benefit from working with a therapist, how do you go about finding one? It can be harder than you'd think. 
First of all, there is a national shortage of child therapists, unfortunately. The pandemic has exacerbated that, as some therapists who previously worked with children moved to seeing clients virtually and weren't comfortable doing so with kids. Second, the pandemic created a bigger demand in the need for child providers, as referrals increased in both quantity and intensity.  Here is a step-by-step guide to finding someone: 

1. Have an idea of what you're looking for. Do you want someone who specializes in working with kids, or is someone who works with kids in addition to every other age okay? Do you want someone well versed in treatments for trauma, anxiety, or divorce, or are you looking for someone who knows a little bit about everything? Is it important that the therapist has toys available in their office for sessions, or would strictly talk-therapy work for your child? Knowing the answers to these things can help you narrow down what you want in a therapist, and even better, what you don't. 
2. Do you need to use health insurance? If so, start there. Go to the website that's listed on the back of your insurance card to find out which providers in your area are paneled with your insurance. You can investigate some of those therapists and cross reference them with the things you were interested in from step one. 
3. Now the next step should be that you call a few of the providers that matched in steps one and two and make an appointment. Unfortunately that's not usually the case. Step three will really be that you find a therapist you think could be a good fit, call to make an appointment, and they are not accepting new clients. In that case, step three becomes get on as many waiting lists as you can. There's no obligation to book something with them if you've found another therapist first, but if you've spent three months looking for a therapist to no avail, you could have possibly been next up on someone else's waiting list in that time. 
4. Note if you have flexibility. Do you have a flexible schedule? Let the office know on your first call that you could bring your child during the day. After- school appointments fill up fastest, then early morning slots. Sometimes the 11am appointments may be difficult to fill, so you could be more likely to get one of those if you can come in the middle of the day. The same goes for other areas: flexibility in in-person vs. virtual sessions, insurance vs. paying out of pocket, and in specific therapist is going to make the pool of possible therapists exponentially larger.
5. If you have to leave a message or fill out a form online, concisely mention a little about what's going on and how you can be flexible, if possible. "Hi, this is Jane Smith calling on behalf of my 5 year old, John. We're looking for someone who works with kids with anxiety, we have ABC Healthcare, and we can come at any time." I can easily answer that request in one quick email- I know immediately if we can accommodate that need. If the message says "Hi this is Jane calling on behalf on my son, please call me back" that may require 2-3 emails back and forth before I know what is needed and whether or not we can help. 
6. Finally, try again. Most therapists in private practice are one-person shows: they don't have a receptionist or administrative help and they're juggling providing the services as well as managing the business. Multiply this by hundreds of requests and the fact that we are humans, and you've got mistakes. Sometimes we drop the ball on things: we miss an email, we respond to a voicemail but the parent's mailbox is full, we forget to follow up again later, we didn't have a chance to respond yet, etc. If you haven't heard back anything in a week or two, send a friendly follow-up email to ask again if there is any availability for a new client. 

Most therapists genuinely want to take on more clients, but recognize that there is a point at which we are no longer effective for anyone if we are trying to be effective for everyone. In general, we hate having to turn folks away. If you can't get your child in with a therapist for ongoing appointments, you might also consider asking for a one-time consultation or parent coaching session to brainstorm ways to support your child at home in the meantime.