If you've made the decision that your child could benefit from working with a therapist, how do you go about finding one? It can be harder than you'd think. 
First of all, there is a national shortage of child therapists, unfortunately. The pandemic has exacerbated that, as some therapists who previously worked with children moved to seeing clients virtually and weren't comfortable doing so with kids. Second, the pandemic created a bigger demand in the need for child providers, as referrals increased in both quantity and intensity.  Here is a step-by-step guide to finding someone: 

1. Have an idea of what you're looking for. Do you want someone who specializes in working with kids, or is someone who works with kids in addition to every other age okay? Do you want someone well versed in treatments for trauma, anxiety, or divorce, or are you looking for someone who knows a little bit about everything? Is it important that the therapist has toys available in their office for sessions, or would strictly talk-therapy work for your child? Knowing the answers to these things can help you narrow down what you want in a therapist, and even better, what you don't. 
2. Do you need to use health insurance? If so, start there. Go to the website that's listed on the back of your insurance card to find out which providers in your area are paneled with your insurance. You can investigate some of those therapists and cross reference them with the things you were interested in from step one. 
3. Now the next step should be that you call a few of the providers that matched in steps one and two and make an appointment. Unfortunately that's not usually the case. Step three will really be that you find a therapist you think could be a good fit, call to make an appointment, and they are not accepting new clients. In that case, step three becomes get on as many waiting lists as you can. There's no obligation to book something with them if you've found another therapist first, but if you've spent three months looking for a therapist to no avail, you could have possibly been next up on someone else's waiting list in that time. 
4. Note if you have flexibility. Do you have a flexible schedule? Let the office know on your first call that you could bring your child during the day. After- school appointments fill up fastest, then early morning slots. Sometimes the 11am appointments may be difficult to fill, so you could be more likely to get one of those if you can come in the middle of the day. The same goes for other areas: flexibility in in-person vs. virtual sessions, insurance vs. paying out of pocket, and in specific therapist is going to make the pool of possible therapists exponentially larger.
5. If you have to leave a message or fill out a form online, concisely mention a little about what's going on and how you can be flexible, if possible. "Hi, this is Jane Smith calling on behalf of my 5 year old, John. We're looking for someone who works with kids with anxiety, we have ABC Healthcare, and we can come at any time." I can easily answer that request in one quick email- I know immediately if we can accommodate that need. If the message says "Hi this is Jane calling on behalf on my son, please call me back" that may require 2-3 emails back and forth before I know what is needed and whether or not we can help. 
6. Finally, try again. Most therapists in private practice are one-person shows: they don't have a receptionist or administrative help and they're juggling providing the services as well as managing the business. Multiply this by hundreds of requests and the fact that we are humans, and you've got mistakes. Sometimes we drop the ball on things: we miss an email, we respond to a voicemail but the parent's mailbox is full, we forget to follow up again later, we didn't have a chance to respond yet, etc. If you haven't heard back anything in a week or two, send a friendly follow-up email to ask again if there is any availability for a new client. 

Most therapists genuinely want to take on more clients, but recognize that there is a point at which we are no longer effective for anyone if we are trying to be effective for everyone. In general, we hate having to turn folks away. If you can't get your child in with a therapist for ongoing appointments, you might also consider asking for a one-time consultation or parent coaching session to brainstorm ways to support your child at home in the meantime. 

Do you ever wonder if your child needs to talk to a therapist? Some parents want their child to have an existing relationship with a therapist so that if something difficult comes up they're already comfortable with talking with someone. Others want to seek someone out for a specific issue that they hope to get resolved. How do you determine when to seek out additional support? These three questions can help you decide. 

•  Think about your primary concern. Is it an isolated incident, or is it a pattern you've seen repeatedly? Sometimes our own parental anxiety interferes with our ability to assess the situation. When we see something concerning it is difficult to see how big the concern is when we're in the middle of it. If the issue (example: social anxiety) is one you've witnessed once, it's far less likely to need intervention than if you've been noticing it for three months. 
• Do you notice concern across different environments and contexts? If my child is only nervous when attempting a new activity, that is very different than a child who is anxious at school, at home, in comfortable situations, with friends, and trying new things. This doesn't mean that the anxiety your child experiences in new situations isn't valid or concerning, just that it may not indicate needing a professional's help at this time. 
• Does your child indicate an interest in talking with someone? When a child is adamant that they won't speak to a therapist, I encourage parents not to force them to attend past the first session if they aren't a danger to themselves or others. Having permission to walk away can make kids and teens more likely to engage and less likely to feel the need for a power struggle. Forcing a child to attend therapy when they're refusing to talk is a waste of parental time and money, and can turn them off to therapy in the future. If a child does indicate a desire to talk with someone, that's a great sign that the timing is likely right and you've got an opportunity to support your child in obtaining a healthy resource and an open line of communication.